Dare to Whisper
The Role of Therapy in Unpacking Sexual Experiences
When you hear the word SEX, what immediately comes to mind? (no pun intended, seriously!)
Sexuality?
Pleasure?
Desire?
Intimacy?
Romance?
Heat?
Connection?
Arousal?
Response?
A buffet with all of the above? Yes, please!
At Cherry Tree, we have an all-female therapy team who specialize in supporting women’s emotional health and wellness. Our clients entrust us with their most intimate stories and experiences. Our practice is centered around relational psychotherapy, which focuses on exploring our relationships with family, friends, partners, colleagues, and most importantly, ourselves.
It is in our closest and most intimate relationships that we come to deeply understand ourselves, our position and place in this world, our identities, dreams, and desires.
As therapists, we are incredibly humbled and honoured to bear witness…as women unpack their personal burdens and the systemic roadblocks that get in the way of peace and fulfillment.
As therapists we provide a protected space for clients to share their concerns related to sexual health and intimacy. When clients dare to whisper their dissatisfactions and joys in their sexual relationships we are here to listen and to hold, to reflect and to validate, to gently challenge and to ask questions. On the road to sexual fulfillment, there can be many layers that need to be unpacked, many pain points that need our attention and many stories that need to be told. We are here for that.
We also love to offer you concrete tools that can invite change. When it comes to women’s sexuality there's one resource we consistently recommend and it's Emily Nagoski.
You’ve heard of Emily Nagoski already, right?
Perhaps like us, you keep her books very close by. If you haven’t read, listened or heard of this groundbreaking educator and author, who has dedicated her work to unravelling the complexities of women's sexuality, please…RUN to your nearest library, local book shop or device.
As women and therapists, her work has been a major game-changer in how we understand ourselves and our clients in their relationships. Through her books, talks, and podcasts, Nagoski offers insightful perspectives, practical advice, and empowering narratives that resonate deeply with women of all backgrounds.
In her latest work, Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections along with "Come As You Are" and "Burnout," Nagoski continues to challenge societal norms and shed light on the diverse experiences of women. From understanding the science of arousal to navigating the complexities of desire, Nagoski's work provides a roadmap for women to embrace their sexuality fully.
Whether you're seeking to enhance your sexual well-being, deepen your understanding of pleasure, or simply crave some empowering insights, Emily Nagoski's books and podcasts are a must-explore.
How we can recognize and celebrate the uniqueness of women’s health
Women’s health isn’t a carbon copy of men’s health, despite what traditional narratives may have led us to believe.
For far too long, discussions around health and sexuality have centred predominantly on male experiences, leaving the complexities of women's bodies and desires shrouded in silence. It's time to bring these conversations out of the shadows and amplify the dialogue surrounding women's health and sexuality.
We must acknowledge that women's bodies, desires, needs, and preferences are distinctly different from those of men.
What works for one gender may not necessarily translate to the other. It's crucial for women to cultivate a deep understanding of their own desires, needs, and boundaries. We need to explore what makes us tick, how arousal manifests in our relationships and within ourselves, and what brings us true pleasure and fulfillment.
By embracing this understanding, we empower ourselves to navigate our sexual journeys with confidence and agency. We reject the notion that our experiences should conform to outdated stereotypes or norms dictated by society. Instead, we champion the idea that women deserve to experience pleasure and satisfaction on their own terms, free from judgment or comparison.
Through open dialogue, education, and self-exploration, we pave the way for a future where women's health and sexuality are celebrated and prioritized. It's time to rewrite the narrative and reclaim our sexual autonomy.
As therapists, we hear a lot of shared concerns from our clients. Can you relate to any of these?
PRESSURE TO BOUNCE BACK AFTER BABY
Physically, sexually, socially, and emotionally, the expectation to return to a pre-pregnancy state can be overwhelming. It's essential to validate and normalize that healing looks different for everyone. Healing time varies, and dispelling the myths of "bounce-back" is crucial.
BARRIERS TO PLEASURE AND INTERCOURSE AFTER BABY
There are various challenges women may encounter postpartum, including healing from tearing or episiotomies, pelvic prolapse, or incontinence. Referrals to pelvic floor physiotherapists or at-home programs can assist in addressing these issues. Additionally, self-esteem and body image post-baby can affect sexual intimacy, so exploring tools and approaches to support clients is vital. Feeling "touched out" is common, and exploring other ways of connecting, such as understanding the difference between affectionate/intimate touch versus erotic/intimate touch, can be helpful.
EMPOWERING WOMEN TO EXPRESS THEIR SEXUAL PREFERENCES
Finding and practicing the words to express likes, dislikes, boundaries, and interests in sexual encounters is essential for fulfilling relationships. By fostering open communication and creating a safe space for honest dialogue, individuals can navigate their desires and boundaries with confidence, leading to deeper intimacy and satisfaction.
REDUCING SHAME AROUND SAYING NO OR NOT BEING IN THE MOOD
Normalizing the mental load of motherhood and offering support around reducing breaks around sexual intimacy can alleviate feelings of guilt or inadequacy. It's crucial to consider alternatives to prevent a full shut-down, withdrawal, or avoidance spiral. Exploring other forms of intimate or erotic touch can maintain connection during times when penetrative sex isn't feasible.
ADDRESSING A DECLINE IN LIBIDO OR DESIRE DISCREPANCIES IN RELATIONSHIPS
When we notice a strong, persistent decline in libido, it may be helpful to seek professional support. This decline could be due to physical changes in the body during pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding, including hormonal fluctuations and fatigue. Additionally, facing stress, anxiety, and mood issues due to parenting, work-life balance and other stressors can affect libido and make it hard to prioritize intimacy in relationships. This is common.
KEYS TO UNLOCKING A SATISFYING SEX LIFE
Developing a positive sexual relationship with one's body and fostering open communication with a partner are important. If individuals aren't satisfied with their sex life, communication in this department is likely suffering. Starting with the groundwork of communication can pave the way for increased satisfaction and intimacy.
These issues are common among women, and addressing them openly and supportively can lead to healthier, more fulfilling sexual experiences. If you resonate with any of these challenges, know that you're not alone, and seeking support is a proactive step toward improvement.
Here's to embracing our sexuality, one conversation at a time.
Ready to take the next step towards embracing your sexuality and reclaiming your sexual autonomy? Our compassionate team of therapists can support you in navigating women's health and sexuality. Whether you're seeking guidance on navigating intimacy postpartum, exploring your desires, or addressing barriers to sexual fulfillment, we're here to support you every step of the way. Don't hesitate to reach out for therapeutic support tailored to your unique needs. Your journey to sexual empowerment starts here. Contact us today to schedule a session.
We offer a community of care.
Whether you're facing a current challenge, a past pain, or are simply feeling stuck in this phase of your life, we can help you to live the life you want with intention, mindfulness and balance.
We offer free 15-minute meet-and-greets.
Connect with us and let’s talk about how we can help you.
