Holiday Stress and Mental Health
Q&A with a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying)
Keep calm and merry on.
“You can find something that can buffer holiday stress... and allow down time to self preserve. People need time to just chill, relax and enjoy each other.”
Q: Why are the holidays so stressful and what can be done to reduce holiday stress?
What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think about the holidays?
It could be the excitement of family and friend reunions, gift exchanges, and feasting on good homemade food. The holidays can also be a time of high stress where financial hardships become compounded and family conflicts resurface. Feelings of loneliness may become heightened when we don’t have a strong support system of family and friends. Whatever the situation may be, awareness of our stressors during the holidays is important. So, let’s look at some common stressors that happen during this time of the year:
Financial stressors: Often synonymous with the holidays is the large price tag that comes with it. The pressure is on to buy the latest and best gifts for our loved ones which can really place a burden on our shoulders and our bank account! To prevent the “wallet woes”, first try to set a budget for spending and commit to staying within it. Secret Santa gift-giving is also a great way for everyone to get a gift without having to break the bank and can be used in family circles not just for work settings! Lastly, handmade gifts add a nice special touch and can also show off hidden talents to loved ones.
Family and social pressures: Now that pandemic restrictions have eased, family get-togethers and holiday parties are increasing and with that comes the return of social expectations. Whether you're hosting an event or invited to one, it is not uncommon to experience a lot of anxiety and dread making sure that we do our part perfectly so that we don’t disappoint others. Start by understanding and prioritizing your own needs. Don’t try to be the holiday hero by accepting every invite and wearing yourself thin by the end of the month. Take time to decide how much is too much and which invitations are most important to you to honour. Remember it’s okay to say no, take some down time to recuperate, and fill your own cup up.
When it comes to seeing family, this can be a sensitive subject. While the holidays can be an opportunity to strengthen connections with loved ones, they can also be a potential minefield for misery. Practicing boundary setting is a useful skill that communicates to others what behaviours and treatment are welcome within the relationship. It’s important to remember, however, that no one should have to tolerate abusive behaviour so it’s okay to say no to seeing certain family members even if you’re feeling pressured to do so.
Materialism/Commercialism: The official beginning of the holiday season varies depending on who you ask, but there’s no doubt that most big box stores want us to think about them earlier and earlier each year. Even before one holiday is over, we often see merchandise for the next one already hitting shelves! And yet, the holidays are supposed to be about celebrating family, togetherness, and spreading joy and love to all which can bring up conflicting feelings and expectations. This is especially true when marketing campaigns use emotions to drive their messaging home. It’s crucial to prepare for the holidays ahead of time by reflecting on what the holidays mean to you and how you can enjoy them in a way that’s authentic to your vision and values. Decide how much entertaining and shopping you wish to commit to, whether you’re going to purchase or make gifts, and how you can prioritize your to-do list so that you reduce the number of overwhelming tasks.
Feelings of loneliness, sadness, and loss: While most of us might think of this season as a time for celebration, some of us equate the holidays as a time for grieving or feeling alone. Fortunately, there are ways to help elevate the sorrow we may be experiencing by finding ways of connecting to others and ourselves. For example, if you’re not able to visit with family or friends in person, try spending time with them virtually through FaceTime or Skype. Attend a work function with co-workers or look up local holiday events and celebrations. You can also donate your time to a good cause by volunteering and meeting some new people in the process! Lastly, if you’re overwhelmed by sadness and/or memories of loved ones lost, try working through these feelings by journaling, talking to someone you trust, bumping up your self-care, or creating rituals to commemorate their memory.
Q: How can I get in the holiday spirit?
So now that we’ve talked about how the holidays can be stressful, how can we find the joy?
Start with your own town or city that has been decked out with holiday lights and music. Keep tabs on where the festivals and Santa Claus parades are taking place as well as other holiday themed celebrations. Experiencing the festivities with other local inhabitants can be contagious and can help protect against feelings of loneliness.
Another trending activity is watching all the cheesy hallmark movies and sharing your rating with family and friends. Why not also take the opportunity to be creative and start a new tradition by making up a holiday bucket list, or participating in a cookie exchange? Volunteering your time to give back can also go a long way to helping others feel the holiday spirit as well as yourself! Last, but not least, take some time to share memories with others around you and talk about the new memories you’d like to make together throughout the year ahead.
Podcast Highlight: “Good Life Project” with Jonathan Fields
Each week, this podcast brings in experts to help deliver conversations on how to live a good life. In keeping with the theme of this blog post, we recommend listening to this episode that shares how to cope with the holidays through 5 survival habits.
Q: When should I see a professional?
We know the holidays can be a difficult time and it’s important to watch for signs that can indicate support is needed.
Monitoring for feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness, losing interest in hobbies or activities, isolating from others, difficulty sleeping, trouble concentrating, focusing or thinking, and thoughts of harm or suicide. If you’re experiencing any of these symptoms or have other concerns, please reach out to your health care or mental health professional. You can also access several local and crisis supports that can be found here.
SOURCES:
Psychology Today Healthy Holiday Boundaries
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