How to Set Realistic Goals you Can Actually Achieve
SPOILER ALERT: It’s time to put yourself on the to-do list
“Success is not a goal to reach or a finish line to cross. It is a system to improve, an endless process to refine.”
NEW YEAR, NEW ME?
You’ve probably heard and seen this popular phrase all over social media. But let’s slow down for a moment to reflect on who that “new you” would be?
Would she eat healthier? Would she exercise more often? Would she forest - bathe three times a week? Would she cook delicious healthy meals that her kids would love? Would she wake up with a pep in her step and go to sleep peacefully with gratitude in her heart?
Some of us create new resolutions to eat healthier, work out more and break bad habits because we all want to leave behind an older version of ourselves to be a ‘better’ (happier) one. And, whether you believe in making resolutions or not, a new year offers an opportunity for continued evolution and growth.
Have you heard of Action Bias? This is where we want to ‘get it done’ before we have deeply reflected on and understand what is happening.
Our downfall is we don’t make our goals realistic or deeply reflect on what we want to work on. This can set us up for failure or self sabotage.
As women we have a tendency to put others’ needs ahead of our own. As partners and moms, we tend to plan and manage the family calendar, schedules and routines. Whether it’s work, kid related appointments, school events, classes, practices, etc., etc., we are able to accommodate all of our obligations except for one big one: ourselves.
As women we have to realize that putting our needs first is not selfish but crucial for our health, general wellbeing and quality of life.
Scientists are helping us to understand the differences between peoples health needs and the message is that our biological make-up predisposes us to certain health issues.
Research shows that the most prevalent health concerns impacting women include:
Heart disease
Stroke
Cancer
Depression
Osteoporosis
Autoimmune disease
Melanoma
Type-2 diabetes
Alzheimer’s disease
We are also susceptible to maternal health issues like:
Iron deficiency anemia
Hormonal imbalances
Nutritional deficiencies
High blood pressure
Post-partum depression
And, let’s not forget:
PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome)
Endometriosis
UTIs (urinary tract infections),
STIs (sexually transmitted infections like HPV)
Menopause with it’s hot flashes, vitamin deficiencies, and hormonal imbalances
However, many of these health problems are preventable, if we take the right steps.
It's crucial that we learn how to strike a balance between our self-care and obligations. We often prioritize everyone else's needs over our own, but it's important to remember that we cannot pour from an empty cup. Let's make self-care a priority and start looking after ourselves just as much as we look after others.
This includes taking care of both our minds and bodies and managing our risk for the health issues that many women experience. This includes meeting our basic needs, understanding our stressors, incorporating self-care into our daily routines, and getting help when we need it. This includes letting go of 'societal standards' of what healthy "looks like" and feeling pressured to be the "perfect" partner, parent and colleague.
Prioritize what is important to you.
Start by reflecting on what happened to you over the past year and start asking yourself some critical questions.
What were your goals last year? What were the experiences that impacted you and shaped your life the most? What would you like to keep the same? What would you like to change?
By asking these types of critical questions, you can help identify the behaviours or patterns to stop, start, or continue and empower yourself to let go of what no longer serves you.
If you’re looking for ideas on new practices to start here are a few fundamental ones we’re happy to share:
Practicing more self-compassion with setting daily affirmations and being kinder to yourself when ‘things don’t go as planned’
Working towards a more balanced and healthier lifestyle by drinking more water, including more nutrient-rich foods, moving your body more, and improving sleep quality
Expressing needs and setting boundaries in relationships by learning how to communicate assertively and respectfully
Reducing stress with grounding techniques such as meditation or limiting social media usage
Setting realistic health and wellness goals is key to achieving them.
It’s always tempting to simply imagine the results of our goals than to actually work on achieving them. However, if you keep your goals realistic and attainable, remain consistent and accountable, and choose the goals that are meaningful to you, you will be more likely to reach them. That said, we do believe a positive mindset is a powerful thing so never stop imagining, visualizing and naming what you want.
One of the most common goal setting frameworks is the SMART system:
Specific Measurable Achievable Relevant Time-Based
Although the SMART system has it’s origins in the business world, it has been an effective way to achieve goals in every aspect of life. These parameters help you to specify exactly how you are going to take action within a certain timeframe to achieve your short-term or long-term goals. This is where the SMART goal concept comes in. The acronym SMART stands for 5 characteristics of a goal that must be included in the process in order to successfully achieve the goal:
Specific — What is the goal? The goal should be straightforward, precise, and easily defined.
Measurable — How will I measure my progress? Your goal should have a define way for you to assess your ongoing progress and success.
Attainable — Do I have the skills and resources? Your goal should be realistic, in terms of you having the time and ability required.
Relevant — Why is the goal important to me? Your goal should be important enough that you are committed to taking action.
Time-bound — When will I achieve the goal I’ve set? Set a specific time frame to reach your goal.
Here’s an example of a SMART goal:
Let’s look at a common goal of weight loss and fitness.
We’ve all proclaimed “I’m-hitting-the-gym-starting-Monday” or vowed to “eat healthier” and then find ourselves picking up take-out for dinner Monday night or a blue box full of pizza boxes! (true story) However, by using the SMART goal concept you can see how some planning can really set up you for success. For example:
Specific: I want to lose 20 pounds to improve my fitness and increase my energy.
Measurable: I want to lose belly fat and be able to endure physical activities without getting tired easily.
Attainable: I hate the gym and I always gain the weight back after going on a strict diet. So instead, I’m going to focus on making small changes to my daily routine. I am going to start with these things:
I’m going to drink water with every meal.
I am going to stop eating by 8pm. No late-night snacking!
I’m going to switch from a double-double to black coffee.
I am going to take a 15 minute walk every day on my lunch break.
I am going to limit ordering take-out to once a week.
I am going to take the yoga class near my work every Tuesday and Thursday
I am going to reject diet culture and learn about intuitive eating!
Relevant: Fast food is high in cholesterol and high cholesterol runs in my family, so the doctor told me I need to be extra cautious and start making some changes. Plus, I’m tired of people tired all the time and I want to feel better in my body.
Time-bound: I need to make adjustments to my habits and move my body and hopefully I’ll lose 20 pounds within a period of four to six months - just in time for the warmer weather and our summer vacation.
Out of all the letters in the SMART acronym, the “A”, as “attainable”, is the least precise one but the most important.
After all, most of the time, we can only be sure a goal is attainable or not if we’ve already tried pursuing it. Saying that you’ll lose 30 lbs in one month is usually not attainable.
There are two outcomes that can come from such an overachieving goal. And neither is favorable:
You go on a strict diet and exercise routine. You stick to your diet with faltering and exercise hard every morning. But, ultimately, you fail because it’s simply near-impossible to lose that much in such a short time. As a result, you feel demoralized, despite the problem being striving too high, and not your own lack of skills and determination.
You feel discouraged by such an unfeasible goal from the start. So much that you give up without even trying.
On the other hand, saying that you’ll lose 3 lbs. every week for a month by eating healthier and exercising regularly is attainable. With such a reasonable goal, you’ll have the best chance to maintain motivation throughout it.
Good health isn't just an idea, it's a choice we make every day. It's a lifelong commitment to mindful action. And let's be real, it's not always easy.
Remember, our health is a result of our habits.
Making small changes to your lifestyle - no matter your age - can have a big impact on your overall health. It's never too late to start taking care of yourself both inside and out. Remember that this can be done more easily by breaking things down into more manageable activities, tasks or routines that you feel will be the most effective for you.
Work on being self-aware of what meaningful practices we can include in our daily, weekly and monthly routines to take care of our body and soul.
Commit to making yourself a priority. It's not about being perfect. It's about a back and forth dance that ultimately pulls you forward. It’s about taking care of your needs so you can show up as the person you want to be. So all of that said…..who do you want to be?
To learn more about SMART goals, here are several resources for you to explore:
MasterClass.com What are SMART Goals? A Guide to Using SMART Goals
Lifehack.org 20 Personal SMART Goals Examples to Improve Your Life
Bodybuilding.com A Woman’s Guide To Setting “SMART” Goals
University of California SMART Goals: A How to Guide
If you’re interested in seeing how we might be able to assist you with your health and wellbeing goals, we offer free 15 minute consultations.
Connect with us and let’s talk about how we can help you.
